thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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