HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Randomize
