everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Randomize
