she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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