Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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