i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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