I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
