She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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