I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Randomize
