do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
3 2 1 whiskey
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Randomize
