I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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