my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
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