Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
