ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Randomize