Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
only you would photoshop your dick
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Randomize
