I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
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