need another drink. this is the easiest way
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
