Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
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He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
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I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
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