I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
my liver is dry heaving
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
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