I cockslap morals
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Randomize