I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
operation have a gay friend backfired
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
