Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
