I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
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