I swear she didn't look like that last week.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Randomize
