I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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