So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
wow bdsm is so cute
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize