how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Randomize
