i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Randomize
