I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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