dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Also, beer. Big fan.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
