didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize
