Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Randomize
