I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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