He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
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