he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
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