physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
