Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
