I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
She even gives head with a lisp.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
