I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Randomize
