we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
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