Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
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