I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
