i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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