I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
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sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
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When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
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