But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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