Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
