You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
