Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize