I think my vagina is haunted
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
