i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
