Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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