He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
