At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still have a little drunk in my system
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
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