No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
This couple is walking their pig around campus
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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