I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Randomize
