In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
