whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
